The Making and Meaning of Relationships in Sri Lanka

1. Front Matter

   Pages i-xxiv

   PDF

2. Introduction

   • Mihirini Sirisena

   Pages 1-53

3. Ruminating on Love and Love Relationships

   • Mihirini Sirisena

   Pages 55-75

4. Ayyas and Nangis in Love

   • Mihirini Sirisena

   Pages 77-97

5. Making It Real

   • Mihirini Sirisena

   Pages 99-119

6. My World in My Pocket: Phones, Relationships and Expectations

   • Mihirini Sirisena

   Pages 121-144

7. Balancing Between Pleasure and Propriety: Where, What and How

   • Mihirini Sirisena

   Pages 145-165

8. Sex Games: Pleasures and Penance

   • Mihirini Sirisena

   Pages 167-184

9. Magēma kenek: On Future and Certainty

   • Mihirini Sirisena

   Pages 185-205

10. Serious Relationships: Intersubjective Intermingling, Fuller Lives and Embodied Emotions

    • Mihirini Sirisena

    Pages 207-221

11. Back Matter

    Pages 223-242

    PDF

This book proposes that romantic relationships—filtered through various socio-cultural sieves—can lead to the development of affective kin bonds, which underlie our sense of personhood and belonging. Sirisena argues that the process resembles an attempt to make strangers into kin, and that sort of affective relating is a form of self-conscious relationality, in which the inhabitants reflect on their individual and collective needs, as well as their expectations and dreams in the future of their relationships. University students’ romantic relationships, which they gloss as 'serious,' appear to be processual and non-linear, and are considered to be stabilising forces which are pitched against the inherent uncertainty in young people’s lives.

• Cross-cultural Psychology
• International Psychology
• Interpersonal Relationships
• Psychological Anthropology
• Social Anthropology
• Materiality
• Attraction
• Intimacy
• South Asia
• Sri Lanka
• Youth Studies

“In her insightful ethnography, Sirisena takes us into a world that is usually only glimpsed from afar.  We are treated to a sensitive and detailed account of how university students in Colombo accomplish the dual task of self-making at the same time as making relationships with one another.  The account is all the more engaging for the fact that these young people are working out complex intersections of class, caste, gender, sexual propriety and the nature of intimacy.  Moreover, they are doing so at a time when norms and values relating to marriage and sex in Sri Lankan society are rapidly changing.  The students describe articulately and often poetically their thoughts, feelings and predicaments about courtship, coupledom and their hopes for the future.  The book gives us a rare and valuable insight into a time of intensity, reflection and exploration among Sri Lankan youths and from which a lot can learned.” (Bob Simpson, Professor of Anthropology, DurhamUniversity, UK)

“Native ethnographer Mihirini Sirisena delves into the intimacies of couple relationships between college students in Sri Lanka. Research participants talk about virginity, sexual intimacy, and gendered power relations, and the author deftly frames their frank revelations within an analysis of propriety, trust, and commitment. The book also explores terms of endearment, the value of thoughtful gifts, and the use of mobile phones, among other topics. In examining the practices of youthful love, Sirisena sheds light on surprising differences and heartwarming similarities in romantic relationships around the world.” (Michele Ruth Gamburd, Professor of Anthropology, Portland State University, USA)

• Durham University, Durham, United Kingdom

  Mihirini Sirisena

Mihirini Sirisena is Visiting Fellow at Durham University, UK, and is currently working on her new project on ageing and wellbeing. She obtained her PhD in social anthropology at the University of Edinburgh, UK.

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