The Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships

1. Front Matter

   Pages i-x

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2. Introduction to the Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships

   • Katherine Aumer

   Pages 1-9

3. Love

   1. Front Matter

      Pages 11-11

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   2. Unweaving the Rainbow of Human Sexuality: A Review of One-Night Stands, Serious Romantic Relationships, and the Relationship Space in Between

      • Peter K. Jonason, Rhonda N. Balzarini

      Pages 13-28

   3. The Importance and Meaning of Sexual Fantasies in Intimate Relationships

      • Ali Ziegler, Terri D. Conley

      Pages 29-45

   4. The Science of Female Orgasms: Pleasing Female Partners in Casual and Long-Term Relationships

      • Jes L. Matsick, Terri D. Conley, Amy C. Moors

      Pages 47-63

   5. Passionate Love: Inspired by Angels or Demons?

      • Elaine Hatfield, Cyrille Feybesse, Victoria Narine, Richard L. Rapson

      Pages 65-82

4. Hate

   1. Front Matter

      Pages 83-83

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   2. Your Pain, My Gain: The Interpersonal Context of Sadism

      • Christopher T. Burris, Rebecca Leitch

      Pages 85-103

   3. Hate: Theory and Implications for Intimate Relationships

      • John K. Rempel, Siobhan Sutherland

      Pages 105-129

   4. Hate in Intimate Relationships as a Self-protective Emotion

      • Katherine Aumer, Anne Cathrine Krebs Bahn

      Pages 131-151

   5. We Hate What We Fear: Interpersonal Hate from a Clinical Perspective

      • Jerrold Lee Shapiro

      Pages 153-177

5. Back Matter

   Pages 179-184

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Social psychology has made great advancements in understanding how our romantic relationships function and to some extent, dissolve. However, the social and behavioral sciences in much of western scholarship often focus exclusively on the more positive aspects of intimate relationships--and less so on more controversial or unconventional aspects. The goal of this volume is to explore and illuminate some of these underrepresented aspects: aspects such as non-monogamy, female orgasm, sadism, and hate, that often function alongside love in intimate relationships. Ultimately, by looking at intimate relationships in this way, the volume contributes to and advocates for a more holistic and comprehensive view of intimate relationships.  

Throughout the volume, contributors from social, clinical, and evolutionary psychology cover love and hate from a variety of (sometimes opposing) perspectives. The first section, covers love and the changing landscape of intimate relationships. Its chapters review the current literature and research of understudied topics like non-monogamy, female orgasm, sexual fantasies, and the viewpoint of love as something other than positive. The second section explores hate and how hate can operate in intimate relationships--for example, the appearance of sadistic behavior and debates the nature of hate as either a motivation or emotion. The volume concludes, by looking at ways in which the appearance of hate in relationships can be dealt with and overcome successfully. Taken together, these two sections reflect the full variety of experiences within intimate relationships.  With the aim of exploring how love and hate can-and frequently do-work together, The Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships is a fascinating psychological exploration of intimate relationships in modern times. It is an invaluable resource to academics and students specializing in psychology, gender, and sociology, including clinicians and therapists, and all those interested in increasing our knowledge of intimate relationships.    

• biological psychology and sexual desire
• evolutionary psychology
• gender gap in orgasm
• history and culture of love
• mating preference differences
• non traditional and traditional romantic relationship
• non-monogamous relationships
• psychology of romantic relationships
• psychology of sadism
• technology and love
• modern relationships
• modern romance
• sexual behaviour

“The chapters are very interesting and consistently well written. Each will be useful to graduate students and researchers interested in a specific subdomain. Where relevant literature has accumulated, the contributors have done a good job of representing what is known and highlighting areas where inquiry should proceed.” (Brian H. Stagner, PsycCRITIQUES, Vol. 62 (6), April, 2017)



“Psychoanalysts and existential psychologists have long theorized the ‘coexistence of love and hate’ in intimate relationships. … the goal of this title is to gather the work of those who have done so. … the work is split into two parts: one section on love, and the other on hate. … Summing Up: Recommended. All readers.” (J. Ostenson, Choice, Vol. 54 (5), January, 2017)

• Psychology, Hawaii Pacific University, Honolulu, USA

  Katherine Aumer

Dr. Katherine Aumer is an Assistant Professor of Psychology at the Hawaii Pacific University, in Honolulu, HI. She received her PhD from the University of Texas, Austin. She has conducted research in the areas of emotion, relationship satisfaction, and racial identity. She is currently conducting research on sexual identity and personality in long term relationships. 

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